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Sunday 18th August 2019 1.10pm

The time is relevant to this story because my weekend is full and everything has to go right if I’m to get to the footy. On Friday night we go out as a family to see Shakespeare in Love at the Playhouse and, unless we are greatly mistaken, Geoffrey Rush, who was in the film 20 years ago, is sitting a few rows in front of us. It is a wet, cold night and the kids don’t really want to go out to see a play they’re sure they’ll hate. But they are converts well before the interval. It’s the bit with the dog that seals it.

We catch a late tram home and see on the phone that the Demons have lost to Sydney, at home, by 53 points. Sydney who had not won for two months, have flogged them. What on earth has happened to Melbourne? It’s one of life’s great mysteries.

I’m up before five and out the door a bit after six. I ride, in the early light, to Spencer Street and catch the 7.05 to Wodonga. On the train I eat toast from a paper bag, coffee from the thermos, do a bit of the crossword, have a good sleep, look out the window and all is right with the world.

From Wodonga Station I ride to Mum’s house and have a lovely day and night with her. I catch the 6.44 morning train back to Melbourne. More thermos coffee, more toast from the bag, a bit less sleep than I wanted. I make a bold decision to alight at Broadmeadows rather than stay on until the city. I am greatly vindicated by the howling northerly wind which pushes me home to Preston in good time. That train can really crawl from Broady into the City and then I would have had to ride uphill, and into the wind, to get home.

For the first time in a while I’ll have company at the footy. My daughter and I leave home half an hour after I arrive, catch the tram in good time and walk through the gardens to the ‘G. We’re in standing room in M9 with a good spot against the barrier, a good half hour before the first bounce. Time for some hot chips and a bit of the quiz before the fun starts.

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West Coast win the toss and kick to the City End, as teams do when they win the toss. Is that so Richmond won’t be kicking to the Punt Road End in the last? Whatever the reason, it pays off for them handsomely as they are out to a five-goal lead in no time. They don’t seem able to drop the ball or miss a shot at goal. Richmond seem to give them all the room and time that they want and they don’t want much. A second too long here, a yard or two there, and they have another goal.

They get the first two before Caddy marks a good kick from Bolton and pulls one back for us. Caddy, with that goal we really need, again. Presti gives a clever, underground kick to Houli who finds Lynch who marks and misses badly. Then West Coast kick the ball around their backline at their leisure before setting sail for the City End where Hickey marks easily and goals from 25 out.

Castagna gets one back for us, a very clever, bouncing grubber of a kick after a nice bit of ducking and weaving. But too soon after that the wrong Rioli gathers and steams into an open goal and it’s 2.1 to four straight and it’s galling how easily the Eagles can score. Our defence seems to be in tatters as Petruccelle gathers and goals and they have five. Another easy mark to Oscar Allen and we’re almost four goals down and the quarter isn’t half over.

Do the Eagles have the wind? Or are we just hopeless and flat-footed? Is this the first good team we’ve played in months? They pull us apart again and it’s seven straight to them and the lead is as good as five goals and despair is barely kept at bay in M9. Please let it rain! Let something stop this slick machine.

Then we get a bit of luck when Short kicks and goals from 45 out. West Coast attack again and Hurn lines up from the 50. But they are mere mortals after all and the Eagles have their first behind at last. Richmond attack but Lynch is out-marked very easily and I wonder if the kick to him had held up in the wind. We’re four goals down and West Coast are marking cleanly and kicking straight and our pressure game doesn’t seem to trouble them.
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Quarter-time score: Richmond 3.3.21 to West Coast 7.1.43

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At the break I think we’re only still in it if we win the second quarter. Well, that’s pretty obvious. And indeed, the game seems to have changed since Short got his late goal in the first. The sun has gone and rain might be coming, but we can’t see the sky from under the concrete at M9. It’s just us and the game.

The first West Coast attack at the Punt Road End is repelled but Richmond only kick a behind as they rebound. Then Riewoldt takes a great mark with is not paid because of the Toby Greene rule. Greene’s bad influence on the game is immeasurable. But then Rioli wins a free, kicks long to Bolton who gathers, weaves, makes space for himself and goals and a good chant of Richmond, clap, clap, clap, starts up. Maybe we can get back into this game?
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With about six minutes gone Lynch takes a huge pack mark, somehow plucking the ball from the air with arms all over the place, like a kelp forest. He kicks the goal from 20 out and we feel much better, it’s 5.2 to 7.1 and it hasn’t even started raining yet.

West Coast attack again, Kennedy marks in a pack but only kicks a behind. Then Flyin’ Ryan takes a pack mark which is paid, unlike Riewoldt’s and we are not surprised. And he goals and we’re three down again. Ryan’s mark followed Edwards losing the footy on the 50. Many of our players have made big mistakes, while the Eagles seem to do everything right. This is very hard to watch.
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Shedda makes amends with a good pass to Chol in the pocket, but Chol who is usually a good set shot, misses this one. Houli marks a clearing kick from West Coast and kicks it to Riewoldt who misses and we trail by 16. Graham snaps a point and we don’t seem able to find the big sticks. But then Riewoldt does, after marking on a tight angle 20 metres out and there’s only 10 points in it.

West Coast attack with their appalling grace and fluidity – and in their dreadful Marketing Department jumpers – but Kennedy is denied a free as he goes to ground in a tangle with Grimes. I’m amazed, players often get frees these days for falling over. But then Soldo is denied a mark right in front so it’s not going all our way. Castagna gets into the bad kicking habit by missing an easy set shot by doing that silly side-on thing that’s all the rage now.

This is much better though. But while there’s more fight for the footy we have only a few goals to show for a long period of dominance. West Coast’s ability to attack quickly and cleanly is really frightening. If they dominate for another half a quarter like they did at the start they could wrap this game up. On the other hand, if we can win this after giving them a five-goal start it will be one to remember.

Half-time score: Richmond 6.5.41 to West Coast 8.2.50

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By the time the Auskickers have left the field it has gotten much colder and my coat is zipped up and my scarf is wrapped tightly around my neck. The rain starts and supporters seek shelter from their expensive, but exposed seats. Some look quite unwell after braving the rain in those awful throw-away ponchos.

The match becomes a slog which might suit us, but almost ten minutes pass without any goals. Then Tom Barrass does an embarrassing thing and passes perfectly to Lambert who marks 25 out and goes back and kicks it. Lambert simply amazes me. I’ve watched his third-quarter goal in the GF – the one that put us 28 points up – about fifty times and I still can’t believe how far and how quickly he ran to be in the right spot for Grigg’s handpass. He just works and works and works and his skills are polished from long use. But most supporters of other clubs have never heard of him.
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The margin is down to four points and maybe we can do this. Ellis goes in very hard in the back pocket and forces a boundary throw-in. The ball comes up our end again, and Lambert snaps for the third time in a minute with no reward. We’ve completely – or almost completely – controlled the game for half a quarter and we’ve one goal and few points to show for it. West Coast attack, win a mysterious free and goal, of course. They can’t bloody miss anything and we’re two goals down again.

Ross wins a free for a high tackle but misses from 25 out. Richmond attack again, Bolton gets it to Prestia who gets it to Dusty who goals. This is the Richmond we like. It’s still raining and 26 minutes have passed and we’re one point down. West Coast attack and are repelled and in the misty rain someone is being helped off the ground by the trainers at the City End. There is concern in M9 and my daughter thinks it’s Grimes. I’m sure it’s a West Coast player because an injury to Grimes is unthinkable. The ball is on our forward pocket when the siren goes. This is a shame as I could have watched us slowly but surely grind the Eagles to defeat in the drizzling rain for the rest of my life.
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Three-quarter-time score: Richmond 8.8.56 to West Coast 9.3.57

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Grimes is back and Dusty opens the last quarter with a point and scores are level. Then Baker gets it to Castagna who gets it to Bolton who marks 25 out, but kicks badly and we’re a point up. Then Soldo wins a free for kicking in danger – the one that’s paid about once a year – and he goes back and kicks it from 25. I’ve really loved Soldo’s form in recent months, he seems to be getting better and better and he’s starting to kick Caddy-like goals, the ones we really need.

Riewoldt handpasses to Shedda who goals and we’re up by 13 points and we should bury these interstate interlopers with their awful song. But they won’t bloody lie down and Ryan wins a very doubtful free kick for high contact, goes back and kicks it and there’s only seven points in it.

Lynch wins a free for high contact after a Barrass, I think, hurdled into him. From a tight angle, 15 out, he kicks it and we’re 13 points up again and surely the burial of the Eagles has begun. West Coast have kicked only three goals since quarter time and we’ve kicked eight. From a boundary throw-in they score again and it’s only seven points. Why won’t they just lie down and die?

Ross makes a horrible mistake, giving the ball away on the back-line right in front of us and another bloody Eagle goal results. They’ve got their kicking boots on today, our defence seems to be in disarray and we’re only a point up. Lynch comes to the rescue once more, snaps and goals and 24 minutes have gone and it’s seven points. West Coast win a free against Baker for some reason but from 25 meters out they miss. At last! An easy miss! But it’s six points and far too tense to be any fun.

Kennedy marks right in front. From my completely objective standpoint he seems to be holding onto Astbury, my brother-in-law’s cousin’s daughter’s boyfriend, but the umpire doesn’t see it and Kennedy goals and the scores are level and why did we miss so many gettable shots and why do we have to go through this agony? And please let us score again, please.

It’s raining again and 27 have gone and Ellis who just keeps trying, week in and week out, gets it to Riewoldt who goals and we’re six points up. And at this point I have to put my notebook away because it’s too close and too tense and the quarter is endless. Minutes crawl by like years and it keeps raining and the Tigers keep fighting for the footy. With 34 minutes gone they win it again and Rioli has it and then Castagna has it and he bangs it towards the goal and all we want is a point, just one more beautiful point, but we don’t even need that because the siren has sounded and we jump up and down and scream and shout and burst into song. What a relief. What a great win after giving this very handy team, who just happened to be the reigning premiers, a five-goal start.
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Full-time score: Richmond 13.10.88 to West Coast 13.4.82

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Houli has been great, again. Dusty, very good, Vlaustin very good too. And I liked Soldo’s game a lot, he’ll be very unlucky if Toby pushes him out of the side. And, as usual, a huge list of players who did all they had to do. The ones who come to mind, Lambert, Graham, Ellis, Lynch, Riewoldt, Prestia. Face facts, we have a bloody good team and nearly everyone plays really well every week. It would be easier to pick out the ones who might have disappointed, but I would hate to do that.

This week, Brisbane, who are top of the ladder. And we thought we came from nowhere in 2017! It really is all on the line this Sunday.

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Benny Votes

Houli 5, Martin 4, Vlastuin 3, Soldo 2, Lambert 1

Leaderboard

Houli 45
Martin 42
Vlastuin 33
Lynch 28
Grimes 27
Edwards 23
Stack, Prestia  18
Lambert 17
Ellis 13
Cotchin, Bolton 7
Castagna 6
Nankervis, Graham 5
Baker, Broad 4
Chol 3
Astbury, Ross, Naish, Soldo 2
Rioli, Balta 1

Sunday 11 August, 3.20pm, MCG
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I leave the house in a rush but go back for my gloves as it’s so cold. But I still manage to forget my scarf, of all things, and I don’t realise until I’m well up the road. I’m aiming for a train that I’ll have to run for and I don’t go back for the scarf. I hope this doesn’t bring us bad luck.

I have to give up on the train and I catch a timely tram instead. If you think we’re spoiled for choice with public transport in Preston you are right. I get into the ‘G a few minutes before the start. Tigerland is being played and sung by some as I make my way to M9. The players are warming up in the teeming rain and after the Friday night snow in Canberra I reflect on the sadness of Melbourne, that no matter how cold it gets, it’s never going to snow. And Rob Snarsky’s song comes into my head, “It starts with snow and it ends with rain…” which for this round of footy will be the case.

Riewoldt is Captain. Cotch is sitting this one out and Dusty’s out too, with “general soreness.” It’s Shedda’s 250th and he’s the 250th player to reach that milestone. Later I will see on the telly that fewer that 2% of AFL players get to that many games. So well done Shedda, we love you and we’re very proud.

Riewoldt wins the toss and chooses the City End so that we’ll kick to the Punt Road End in the last. At the huddle Lynch looks happy and relaxed. But I can only tell this by looking at the TV screen. In real life all the players with blond hair look the same and I struggle to pick Lynch, Riewoldt or Broad apart. Ellis is a bit easier as his shape is distinctive.

Richmond dominate early and after 13 minutes Riewoldt marks a perfect pass from Stack and goals from outside 50. A few minutes later Lynch marks close in, plays on and goals despite being tackled and falling over. Perfect passes from Houli to Caddy to Lynch follow but he misses from 30 meters. Carlton win a soft in-the-back free but miss from 25 out and maybe this will be our afternoon?

Bolton handpasses to Graham who kicks the wet ball from outside the 50 and goals. There is sunshine now and light rain and quarter ends and we’re three goals up and playing quite well. Edwards has had a heap of marks and has been very busy.

Quarter time score: Richmond 3.2 to Carlton 0.2

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It’s always good when Richmond are attacking the Punt Road End. When we’re winning that is. Graham makes a great smother to force a boundary throw-in on the forward flank. Light rain falls, Riewoldt gathers and snaps a behind. Carlton attack but a Vlaustin mark stops them in their tracks. Tigger is playing very well.

The ball is in the pocket in the teeming rain and we win a free for out-on-the-full. The ball lands on the deck, Graham gathers, kicks as he’s tackled and goals. He’s playing like he really wants to play finals again. Watching footy in the rain brings out a lot of nostalgia and clearly this is shared by the players too who organise a bit of a brawl after Graham’s goal, but I’m too busy scribbling to see how it started.

It does remind me of the best radio call of all time – the ’79 GF which we taped and played and replayed on a loop. And Smokey Dawson said to Doug Bigelow at one point, “You watch the fights Doug, I’ll watch the footy!”

Carlton are attacking more than I want them too but can kick only points, even when Richmond gift them a chance after going backwards like in the worst days of Wallace and Frawley. What could go wrong if we keep kicking backwards?

Richmond attack again and Bolton makes a very brave attempt to mark. He still manages to handpass to Graham who steadies and snaps his third. In the teeming rain he can do no wrong.

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Chol on the other hand can do little right and drops an easy mark. Well, it would have been easy on a dry day. But Chol does get a handball to Graham – why give it to anyone else? – who goals again and we’ve kicked six and Carlton have only four points. I love the idea of keeping Carlton goal-less for a whole game. Carlton attack twice for two more points. Then Tigger, who’s been having such a good game, stuffs up the kick-out and gifts the Blues a goal. I’m a bit gutted that they didn’t have a goal-less half of footy.

Half-time score Richmond 6.4.40 to Carlton 1.6.12

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At half-time I go to the loo and line up for a latte and miss out on the horror of “Are you paying attention?” I can still hear the theme music for it though. The coffee is very welcome.

At the start of the third term Lambert handpasses to Shedda who goals from 55 out. His mates gather around to celebrate. Lynch takes a great mark on the 50 and his kick is only a little short. Murphy for Carlton kicks a very clever banana kick in front of us which is pretty clearly a goal, but there’s never a good reason to spare us the spine-tingling tension and commercial opportunity of a score review, so there is one and it is a goal. Damn, the bastards have got two and we’re only 29 points up.

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Carlton are on top for the next ten or fifteen minutes and I don’t like it. Carlton attack again and get another goal and it’s 7.5 to 3.6 and the Tigers look a bit flat. After 24 minutes Lynch marks about 30 out, looks like he wants to give it away then goes back and kicks it. It’s been our first proper attack in a good while.

Casboult pulls one back for Carlton after a very good mark, right in front and it’s under four goals again. This is the sort of margin that could give a team hope and I wish we led by more. Richmond win a free 45 out and Lynch kicks a point. The free was for holding the ball, I think, and was a bit lucky as a Carlton player seemed to be chicken-winged. I think we’re a bit lucky to be four goals up as Carlton have had a very good quarter and our attacks were not convincing.

Just before the siren Ellis makes a huge attack on the footy on the half-back flank and a big tackle to follow up. He too is playing like someone who doesn’t want to miss a spot in the finals team.
While I write this the idiots are cheering for “Race the Jeep” at three quarter time. Honestly.

Three-quarter time score: Richmond 8.6 to Carlton 4.6

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We’re kicking to the Punt Road End in the last and I hope we bury the Blues. Kreuzer wins a free and then a 50 but misses his shot from 30. Richmond are under siege at the City End and Carlton really believe they can win this. Carlton win another free for out-on-the-full but the mug kicks out on the full himself. Maybe it won’t be Carlton’s afternoon.

Finally, six minutes into the quarter Richmond attack and Ross wins a free for deliberate out-of-bounds. Riewoldt takes a huge mark right in front and kicks a goal and I feel better.

Then Bolton, still not having a great game, gives away a soft free for high contact on the wing, then a fifty for a shove and then another fifty for holding his opponent up. Carlton kick the goal and it’s 9.7 to 5.8 and it’s raining again.

It’s heartening to see a big flock of seagulls in the corner of the centre square. The control freaks who run our game must be beside themselves. Those overhead wires worked for a while and now they don’t.

Carlton attack again and again and then Astbury marks in defence, only it’s not paid because Grimes touched it. But as Astbury is tackled as soon as he marks it – and has no prior opportunity that I can see – it should be a ball-up. No, Carlton free kick and now it’s 17 points and I really hate Carlton. Only 20 minutes have gone and there’s plenty of time for them to pull off an upset.

Vlaustin makes a massive spoil to put the ball out of bounds on the flank. He’s having a very good game and he ran a mile to get to this contest. Carlton attack again and a rushed behind results and they trail by 16. Richmond attack, Graham handpasses to Caddy who goals from a few feet out and Richmond are home. Then Rioli gathers, runs, bounces and kicks long to Castagna who marks in the square as the siren sounds. He goes back and kicks it and the song starts and we’ve won by 28 points.

Full time score: Richmond 11.7.73 to Carlton 6.9.45

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While it would have been great to wallop the Blues by 100 points and give our percentage a boost, that was probably never going to happen. They’re a handy team who’ve recently re-learned to believe in themselves and we ought to be happy with the four points. Without Martin and Cotchin too.

This week we play West Coast followed by Brisbane. If we beat both teams we can think ourselves good enough to win the flag. If we lose both we won’t be. Win one and lose won, who knows?

Best players for me were Vlaustin, Graham, Houli, Ellis, Lambert, Edwards and, bugger it, Astbury and Grimes. Those two are always good and, as I’ve pointed out before, it’s very easy to take them for granted.
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Benny Votes

Vlastuin 5, Graham 4, Houli 3, Ellis 2, Lambert 1

Leaderboard

Houli 40
Martin 38
Vlastuin 30
Lynch 28
Grimes 27
Edwards 23
Stack, Prestia  18
Lambert 16
Ellis 13
Cotchin, Bolton 7
Castagna 6
Nankervis, Graham 5
Baker, Broad 4
Chol 3
Astbury, Ross, Naish 2
Rioli, Balta 1

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Saturday night 3rd August 2019
Saturday was my birthday but I was not at the ‘G but at the Recital Centre for a performance of Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks. This is a piece of music I cannot tire of and, it being my birthday, I had to go. So far as I can remember this was the second time I’d been to see a professional orchestra. You can see why tickets are expensive – the crowd is under a thousand and there’s fifty players on the stage. So many mouths to feed.

Anyway, the music moved me to tears and I had no regrets about missing this game of footy. When we got home, I settled on the couch and watched the second half on the tape. Days later I re-watched the whole game and now, having written about Handel and having tried, and failed, to link him to my beloved Tigers, I had better get down to business.

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This is Tom Lynch’s 150th game and it so happens that Richmond’s ladder position, games won, points for and against, are almost identical to how they were in round 20 in 2017. Melbourne have won only five games all year. What’s happened to our fellow prelim final losers?

A clue to the dysfunction of their club is the strange rock guitar which sounds out as their players gather before the banner and run through it. It’s not until the banner is in tatters and the players are warming up that “It’s a Grand Old Flag” is belted out over the PA. If you can’t get the song to play at the right time…

The first VFL game I ever went to was this fixture in May 1973 when my family came down from Canberra to buy a brand-new Falcon 500 station wagon with a dual action tailgate. It was the biggest and the brownest car ever made in Australia. We stayed one night on Lygon Street and the next night with some friends in Burwood or somewhere. They barracked for Melbourne so they took us to the ‘G to see their boys take on the likes of Hart, Bourke and Bartlett. I was fickle and barracked for whoever was winning. Richmond won and they became my team and won the flag that year the next and this was perfectly normal.

So, things could have turned out differently. I like Melbourne’s colours and I love their song and I’m so glad they lost that game 46 years ago and that I don’t barrack for them. I would take our years of pain over theirs any day.
Back to Tom Lynch. Does he have a good nick-name yet? For want of anything better I’m going to call him Bluey, for this reason – his initials are TL which sounds like “teal” which is a shade of blue, if I’m not mistaken.
Bluey has played every game this year after missing most of the pre-season and I’ve liked every game I’ve seen him in. He’s big and skilful, works hard, does what he has to do and does it bloody well. And for such a big player he’s incredible in the rain.

This is also the 500th game for the umpire Shane McInerny. He is 48 years old and is ageing well in a stressful job. So 500 games is quite an achievement and his family have made a banner for him – yes, a banner for an umpire. Now that’s going straight to the pool room.

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The Tigers score first when Houli passes well to Riewoldt who finds Bolton who hits the post from 30 metres out. Then Riewoldt marks on an angle and centres to George 25 metres out. He goes back and kicks it because his terrible set-shot days are a distant memory. Five minutes have gone and we lead 1.1 to nothing.

Grimes is playing on Lewis except that it’s the other way around. Lewis is playing on him, the commentators say, to keep him quiet. People are waking up to what a champ Grimesy is. Early in the quarter he gives away a free for a hold and Lewis kicks the goal. After the hold against Betts in the second quarter of the GF which he got away with – he practically had him in a half-Nelson for several seconds – Grimes can never complain about umpiring. And so far as I can see, he never does.

Then the Dees get another goal after a goal-mouth scramble and it’s 1.1 to 2.0 and Melbourne are having a good spell. Jones gets the ball to Bayley Fritsch who scores and it’s 1.1 to 3.0.

Bolton lays a great tackle on Jones to show he’s no show-pony but a real Richmond grafter. Castagna weaves through the defence and sets up Martin who misses. Then Lambert – I’m almost certain but the commentators don’t name him and multiple replays on the telly don’t reveal his number – finds a bit of space and passes perfectly to Chol on a strong lead. He goals from 30 out on a 45-degree angle. Chol’s set-shots are very good.

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The set-up was classic Lambert. My daughter says he is the most under-rated player in the AFL. He was picked up by the Tigers in his fifth draft, or something ridiculous. And he’s just worked and worked and worked and now he’s a bloody good player in a bloody good team.

The Dees get a point and Martin kicks a point after gathering well. Riewoldt is held but doesn’t get a free and doesn’t sook about it because he just doesn’t. That’s not the Richmond way. From a boundary throw-in Rioli smothers the footy, Graham gathers and goals and it’s 3.1 a piece with a couple of minutes left.

Richmond attack again but with too many handpasses and Bolton kicks another point and we’re a point up at the first break.

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At the start of the second Riewoldt wins a down-field free and misses the easy shot. Viney is very composed at the other end and passes to Kyle Dunkley who goals from 45 out. The Dees have so many very good players and their ladder position is a mystery.

Edwards is very composed as he clears the ball from defence. I get a lot of pleasure watching him play, he’s another of the great under-rateds. Bolton marks and kicks to Lynch who marks and goals from 51 meters out, almost on the boundary. He’s our Bluey all right.

Grimes takes a big mark on the wing and Baker takes a highly unlikely contested grab in a pack of players. He’s five-eight in the old money, one of the smallest players going around. Riewoldt spills what would have been a very good mark, Martin gathers and handpasses to Caddy who snaps from an angle and goals. Caddy’s happy knack of kicking goals when we need them – all right, when don’t we need them? – is returning.

Bluey gets another for us after a scramble in the forward line but Fritsch gets one back for the Dees from an out-on-the-full free. With five minutes left Angus Brayshaw takes a very brave mark and goals and we’re only two points up when we had seemed to be running away with it. Bolton marks from a Prestia kick but misses from 30 and he doesn’t have his goal-kicking boots on tonight.

At half-time it’s 6.5 to 6.2 and Gawn is very happy as well he might be. He’s playing a blinder and his team-mates are doing well and going in hard. Shedda says in a half-time interview that he thinks Richmond are being beaten.

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At half-time it starts to rain and as everyone learned last week from the Collingwood game, the Tigers love the wet. At the start of the third Houli passes to the beardless Lambert who marks and goals from the 50. He’s having another good game and another good season to go with many before. But Lewis pulls one back for the Dees with a Higgins-like bicycle kick in the goal-square and there’s only a half a goal in it.

Edwards glides past three defenders and kicks into the behind post, but not on the full. From the boundary throw-in Soldo sees the ball dropping short, steps forward and soccers it, on the full, through for a goal. Take that Dees! You thought Lewis was clever!

Another perfect pass from Dusty finds Riewoldt who kicks a point from the 50. Gawn takes yet another mark and is having a big game. Then Dusty gathers and kicks to Bolton who marks and kicks to Graham who marks in the pocket. The young feller – Graham that is – goes back and kicks from about 45 out on a tight angle. It’s almost, but not quite, as hard as Lynch’s earlier effort but Graham can do anything and he kicks it. He’s back to his late 2017 form which is a good thing for us.

Richmond lead 60 to 44 and the inside 50s for this quarter are nine to one. In the teeming rain Grimes soars for a great defensive mark on the wing. Presti sends the ball forward laces out to Lynch who marks. He kicks from 40 and the kick is high, straight and long and suddenly the Tigers are 29 in front with the third term nearly over.

Three-quarter time score: Richmond 11.9.75 to 7.4.46

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At the start of the last Fritsch is gifted a goal for an Astbury “strike” against a Melbourne player. I love Astbury and discovered the night we beat Collingwood that I’m related quite closely to him. He goes out with the daughter of my brother-in-law’s cousin. Yep, we’re family. So I’m glad that the ‘’strike” had, as they say, “not much in it” and he doesn’t get reported.
Halfway through the last quarter Richmond are 25 points up and inside 50s for the game are 60-30 our way. The game feels lifeless. The crowd is small at the ‘G on this wet night and the result seems to be foregone. Rioli wins a free 35 out for a good tackle, but misses. Dusty marks a long way out as the Dees clear from defence. He goals from 55 out. Our marking and kicking in the wet weather is simply amazing. It’s as if it has to rain for the players to show how truly skilled they are.

Dunkley wins a free for high contact against Grimes and kicks the goal. We’re 28 up and there’s seven minutes left. Houli passes to Butler who marks and passes to Bolton. Shai kicks from 25 and finally gets one and we’re five goals up again. We get a rushed point just before the end and win by 33.

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There’s a little ceremony at the end as the players form a guard of honour for McInerney the umpire. This is a nice touch and I love how much chit-chat – of the friendly kind – there is between players of different teams. It is just a game, after all. Interviewed by Richo, Houli agrees he’s playing the most consistent footy of his career, which is saying something, really. But what’s really heartening is to hear some booing as McInerney walks off between the lined-up players. I may be immature, but that strikes me as funny.

It’s been a solid win against the Dees. As everyone keeps saying, they’re a lot better than their ladder position and they beat us in the first half. Had it not rained, who knows what might have happened? It would have been good to have won by more and boosted the percentage but at the end of the day I’m proud of the boys, happy to get the four points and still taking it a week at a time.

Best players: Lynch, Houli, Lambert, Edwards, Grimes, Prestia, Vlaustin, Astbury. But as usual, very hard to pick them out.

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Benny Votes by Chris

Lynch 5, Houli 4, Lambert 3, Martin 2, Edwards 1

Leaderboard

Martin 38
Houli 37
Lynch 28
Grimes 27
Vlastuin 25
Edwards 23
Stack, Prestia  18
Lambert 15
Ellis 11
Cotchin, Bolton 7
Castagna 6
Nankervis 5
Baker, Broad 4
Chol 3
Astbury, Ross, Naish 2
Graham, Rioli, Balta 1

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Clashing with this game, I was invited to go out to MONA and see Robert Forster. My gut reaction was noooo – its a huge game and I’ve got to watch it live. And Forster, aaaaah it’s great music but he’s such a knob. In the end, the gig won out. A night out with old friends can’t be recorded and experienced later like the footy. And Forster was actually great fun.

I maintained radio silence and came into the house with no knowledge of the score; although I did sing Tigerland in the car on the way home. Optimism has become the new default. Turns out there was five minutes left and we were gone out of sight, it was our night. I have watched the replay and these are the highlights, celebrations and frustrations.

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It’s very wet which suits us. It’s Bachar’s 200th, and I don’t remember a player held in such universal respect by Richmond people for what he has brought to our club and the footy community.

@masonsixtencox gets a charity free immediately and does the right thing, shanking a behind. A note for the rest of the game: umpires guess ruck frees and so do commentators, because there are NO RETIRED RUCKS COMMENTATING. Why is this? I think Grundy has done a little bit of special comments; but tonight he’s out there grappling with Ivan II.

The inaccurate ones, Bruce and BT are competing from the go for the worst howler. “Short, missed out on that grand final last year”. Then Treloar goals, he has great hands in the wet. Dusty handpasses to stationary Ivan II who is unfazed and flicks it on – everyone in this group trusts everyone else, it’s amazing. Houli and Vlastuin exchange handpasses while galloping the wrong way, brimming with confidence that openings will appear around them if they hold their nerve.
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Bolton gets it out wide and will always think of shooting first. In isolation this annoys me a little, when he has mates lining up in better positions; but in the big picture it’s good to have at least one goal guts. Vlastuin has started magnificently; his slalom run out of the back pocket another display of poise. A good sequence comes to Dusty who is a way out but the pure authority of his finish for our first goal lifts the team and the fans. Sidebottom has probably never had a worse quarter – his boots are on the wrong feet. Ellis hears his footsteps and Sidey takes possession but sprays his shot horribly. Bruce: “Crisp, strong in the hips” – I reckon he reads a lot of WH Auden.

Lord David Astbury absolutely nails Mihocek, everyone gets up with laughs all round. The wet footy is intense and even, the game hasn’t settled into any pattern yet. Then, Lynch is lucky twice. Goals from a cheap free, then is allowed to spin around and around in a tackle before dishing to Shai; goal. We’re off. “Graham, with his heavy hips” Bruce, I will pay you to stop talking about hips.

The soccer kick is the order of the day. Cotch and Dusty go to hoof the same ball off the deck – Cotch pulls out of it and I think that is when he gets a hammie twinge. He’s off for the day, but seems extraordinarily chirpy about it. He’s also waiting for news of his third baby being born.

Unusual to see two gun players on the bench with big grins all round, a minute before quarter time. Especially when one is already done for the day.

Lynch is pretty slow in a straight line, but that’s not surprising. I hadn’t realised he has played every game this season – that is admirable coming off his serious injury and no pre-season. Sidey and Pendles are not firing and De Goey invisible, Stephenson and Moore missing. We should be flogging these guys.

More ruck free kicks. Grundy gets one and while Ivan looks to the ump for the mark, behind him Grundy just gallops away and kicks a point. Up the other end Ivan wins the ruck lottery, and goals from his free kick.
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Broad kicks to Short, who kicks to Houli, who unloads with a huge woooof up the left wing to Riewoldt who outmarks Howe, spins and kicks it out in front of Lynch. Tom gallops onto it and goals, sensational team footy. 5.4 to 1.2 and quarter time.

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In the 2nd Q we dominated every moment until one minute to half time, when we spoiled it by coughing up two quick ones.

Tiges win every one-on-one in the first 90 secs. De Goey misses and it goes down the other end for a stunning goal. Lambert kicked from the centre to Lynch on 50. Lynch turned and launched a kick to the vacant goals, but by the time the ball landed Lambert was there to toe it through. Insane running. Marbs sells a dummy, nonchalant. We are playing off Dimma’s short pitch, as Astbury is taking intercepting marks at the front of the square. George seems to be drifting into defence more, he’s everywhere applying pressure and linking up.

In defence a Pie marks, plays on but has no idea what to do, and drops it at Dusty’s feet. He holds the hapless Pie at bay while he side-foots the sherrin to Stack who goals, its 46 to 9. Collingwood are a rabble. Marbs executes an off-balance drop-kick. Lynch goals again after the ball goes straight through Crocker’s marking attempt. Soldo is matching Grundy.

Jack and Tom team up for Tom’s 4th. Lynch hacked it in Riewoldt’s direction, leaving him a lot to do. But Jack is up to it, and in return lays it on a platter for Tom who nails the shot on the run, 61 – 11. Then we take the foot off the throat and allow a couple of Pies goals for a half time score 61-24. I think Collingwood may have run up the white flag at half time otherwise, it’s been that one-sided.

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I’ll be brief with the 2nd half, which was a little disappointing really. We don’t goal for most of the 3rd Q, then Martin marks and kicks it round the corner. He has been BOG. Grimes hasn’t had a mention yet but he has been just flawless in his timing, decision-making and leadership. Bruce compares him to Ben Hart, then Sydney Stack to Andrew McLeod. “If Grimes and Stack end up as good as Hart and McLeod they’ll be happy with their careers…” uhh respect to Hart but Grimes is a better player already, thanks.

De Goey goals, then Jack Riewoldt thumps a big goal from 55 after a delicate pass from Jack Graham who has hit his namesake on the chest twice this quarter. At 3QT it’s 78-40.
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In the last quarter we are finessin’ in forward 50. We’ve got three tall targets, and Dan Rioli pinpoints Marbs who is a lovely set shot. The Collingwood president leaves as Crocker hits the post. It was a lovely touch from his Channel 7 rivals to linger on his furious red-faced antics. Final score 98 – 66.

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Benny Votes

Martin 5, Vlastuin 4, Grimes 3, Lynch 2, Graham 1

Leaderboard

Martin 36
Houli 33
Grimes 27
Vlastuin 25
Lynch 23
Edwards 22
Stack, Prestia  18
Lambert 12
Ellis 11
Cotchin, Bolton 7
Castagna 6
Nankervis 5
Baker, Broad 4
Chol 3
Astbury, Ross, Naish 2
Graham, Rioli, Balta 1

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Saturday 20 July 2019
It’s a bit of a shock to go to the footy on a Saturday afternoon. Clearly it was too much for most Richmond members, as only forty odd thousand turned up on this sunny day. I will try to curtail my usual whinges on this subject, but the fact is that there is little for our supporters to do. Our famed passion and loud voices are drowned out, all the time. Before the game starts one of the annoying signs on the fences reads, in yellow and black, “Restore the Roar.” Exactly at this time, loud thumping music is obliterating any crowd noise that might be made. For all the great things they are doing in so many areas, in this respect our Club is run by fools.

But there is much about this day to like. For one thing, my niece, who is 23 and hadn’t kicked a footy in anger until a year or two ago, is playing for Melbourne Uni against Fitzroy at Victoria Park. The first bounce is at midday so I catch an early train, step off at Vic Park at 11.45 and watch the first half of her game with her parents. She goes all right and her team are winning at half time. None of us ever, ever dreamed that one day we’d be here watching her – or any women’s team for that matter – playing the game we love.

Thanks to the magic of the Mernda Line I’m at the ‘G well before the Tigers game starts. I get a good spot in M9 against the barrier where I can lean my notepad and record and soak up the loud music. It’s an odd feeling to go to Richmond games expecting to win. And where once that expectation came with a greater expectation – “if we expect to win, we probably won’t” – these Tigers actually do win when they’re meant to. And yet Port aren’t that bad, only a game or two behind us despite plenty of injuries. And apparently, we haven’t beaten them here for 21 years. That must take us back almost to the day when we thumped the first-year Port Adelaide and Duncan Kellaway kicked a goal late in the last.

Port are playing in a light-blue jumper which I don’t care for. But I don’t like their normal jumper much either. The Richmond banner goes up. It incorporates the name of our “Match Day Sponsor”, Otterbox. Remind me never to use that product, even if my life depends on it. How dare they taint the banner with their corporate shite. People give up hours of their precious time to put that banner together. Putting an ad on it just isn’t right, I don’t care how much money the club gets for it.

Graham and Baker are in, two handy inclusion, for Egg and Mac. I’m not sure why those two are out, I thought Mac played quite well last week against the Giants.

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Our players look magnificent warming up in the sunshine at the Punt Road End. Queen is belting out over us. The pre-match build-up, the crowd getting louder and louder, is just distant memory now. A thumping count-down clock takes us up to the first bounce. This is imposed on us by Footy’s Ruling Class, people who never pay for a ticket or miss a Grand Final, people who possibly don’t even know people who pay to watch their team play. People who haven’t the faintest idea of how committed your everyday footy supporter is.

The Ruling Class pay marketers – 25 at last count in the RFC’s case – to come up with new ideas “to get the crowd involved.” Each idea is more inane and insulting than the last. The Countdown Clock is one such innovation, as if your average supporter had no idea that a match was about to start, the players taking up positions on the ground, the umpires checking that all is right in the centre square, that the hysterical, blood-curdling roar of forty thousand of the like-minded were not enough to tell them that a game was about to start…

I’m sorry, I really am trying not to whinge about this stuff. There’s a game to report on.

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We kick to the Punt Road end and start well. Bolton handballs to Prestia who goals on the run from 55 out. Lynch snaps a behind while being tackled. Then Chol passes to him again, he marks and goals from 50. Then Rioli handballs to Dusty who goals and 14 minutes have gone and we lead 3.2 to two points and long may it continue.
Howard for Port marks too easily and goals from 35. Then Butters steals the ball from Grimes after Shedda passed to him when he shouldn’t have and Port have two goals and I don’t like it. Richmond attack again but stuff it up. With too many options nobody seems prepared just to bang the ball forward and see what happens. But Riewoldt ends up being pushed in the back without the footy and goals from the free kick. We lead 4.2 to 2.2 with 18 gone.

Port win a free on their forward line for being Port Adelaide but miss. A very elaborate Tiger attack follows and Prestia kicks a point. We are finessing in way that will make Tommy Hafey rise from the grave in frustration. Graham kicks us another point from a long way out, it’s good to see him have a crack at it, at least. Port rebound and Grimes takes a great mark in defence. Then a stroke of luck for Richmond. From defence Port kick out on the full but Westhoff, to make sure that the ball is actually out, fists it away to make sure and the ump gives a 50 against him. Ridiculous. It’s not at all clear that he actually broke any rule at all. Still it gifts Graham a goal and we lead by three with 26 gone.

Richmond attack again with no result. One of the louder men in M9 yells out, “Go hard or go home Chol! Which, in light of recent events, and events stretching back into the grimmest pages of history, is pretty gross. Saying it to him is not quite the same as saying it to Grimes or Cotchin.

We lead by three goals at quarter time and our fussiness in attack has been very frustrating. Everyone seems terrified of being the one to lose the footy so they’re all looking for the easy pass.

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This continues early in the second when another attack founders when the ball is handpassed out of bounds in the pocket. But Stack makes up for our fumbling with some magical movement. He evades two tacklers before handballing to Riewoldt who goals from 15 out. We lead 6.4 to 2.4 with six minutes gone. Charlie Dixon pulls one back for Port, then Karl Amon adds another and our lead is down to two goals. Port seem to be defending very well, with all their tall players back and are dangerous on the rebound.

Baker is collected high and Port win a free kick. What do you expect? Only a point results. Chol wins a free for holding the ball and goals from 30 out. He seems to be a reliable set shot. He slotted a beauty from the pocket last week against the Giants.
Richmond attack quickly after the re-start, Lynch marks, Riewoldt marks, another goal from 30 out and we’re almost four goals up again.

But the electronic roar after each of our goals becomes more and more grating.

At half-time we lead 8.5 to 4.6. We’re still over-using the ball, but I’m glad we’re winning.

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At half time I am struck by the beauty of people standing and talking to each other in the bright winter sunshine at the Punt Road End. The music, a bit less loud and intrusive than usual (but still completely unnecessary) includes Paul Kelly’s song about making gravy. Apparently, they play songs from one of the Richmond players’ top five selection. Usually these are bands and singers I’ve never heard of, but today it’s Townsend’s turn and he likes the old stuff. Kelly, John Denver, Hall and Oates, even a Farnham song.

I want us to start the third term with a bang but Port score first and the lead is under three goals. Then Dixon for Port wins a free, literally for falling over, but kicks only a point. Port are setting up well across the ground and there is no space for the Tigers to run into. Then Shedda gathers and kicks to Lynch who marks 20 out and goals and I feel better. Another stuffed-up attack shortly after shows we haven’t lost the knack though.

Port get another lucky one when Amon marks a kick that had barely gone 15 feet but is awarded the mark and goals. Stack saves us again when he steals the footy, gathers and handpasses to Ellis for a goal. The quarter is half over and we lead 10.5 to 6.7. Rioli, who’s been having a mixed game, passes perfectly to Lynch 30 metres out but he misses the shot. Then Dusty finds Castagna in the pocket with a 55-metre pass and George scores from the tight angle. George has had a very good season so far, his set shots have often been brilliant and his footwork at time has been Messi-like.

Ellis kicks into the 50 and the oft-maligned Soldo rises and marks in a pack, 25 out. Goes back and kicks it and his team-mates gather around him in celebration. Port get one back through Amon again, who won’t go away.

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We lead by five goals at the last break and I begrudge Port that last goal. We’ve been more direct and have reaped the rewards. The last term starts well when Lynch snaps and goals while being tackled. Then Riewoldt holds a one-handed mark, kicks to the square where Shedda gathers and goals. We’re seven goals up and hungry for more.

Port get one back, Stack marks right in front but misses. He’s human after all. Chol marks, passes to Lynch who marks and misses from a tight angle. Then marks and misses again. At the 25-minute mark Stack handballs to Rioli who goals and we’re seven goals up again. Riewoldt marks a pass from Baker but misses. Port get the last goal of the game and we win by 38 points.

Final Score: Richmond 15.11.101 Port Adelaide 9.9.63

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It really is a great thing to be winning the games we’re expected to win. It’s what good teams do. And I think there’s plenty of room for improvement with this team. They look like a good team who are still learning how to work together, which they are. I doubt if we’ve had the same team on the park two weeks in a row this season. And the quality of the players who want to fight their way back in is very impressive – Caddy, Nankervis, Mac, Egg, Ross, Townsend and his daggy songs… I’m not expecting Rance to perform miracles, though.

I thought our best players were defenders – Grimes, Astbury, Broad and Houli all did well. Soldo and Chol were solid in the ruck and around the ground. Dusty was good – well, very good, actually. I do hold him to high standards though. But his 55m pass to Castagna in the third was a thing of beauty. Bolton and Stack were very good too. Stack has a knack of doing the special thing when we need it most.

Next week against the Pies we need fewer stats and more goals. That’s not too much to ask is it?

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Benny Votes by Lapsed Tiger

5 Tom Lynch
4 Dylan Grimes
3 Dustin Martin
2 David Astbury
1 Dion Prestia

Leaderboard

Houli 33
Martin 31
Grimes 24
Edwards 22
Vlastuin, Lynch 21
Stack, Prestia  18
Lambert 12
Ellis 11
Cotchin, Bolton 7
Castagna 6
Nankervis 5
Baker, Broad 4
Chol 3
Astbury, Ross, Naish 2
Rioli, Balta 1

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Richmond went into this match overwhelming underdogs. The week before we’d been beaten by Geelong by 12 goals after a good first quarter. Adelaide had giant-killed the Corporate Giants and so proven themselves to be The Real Thing. We still had lots of players injured and Cotchin had been added to the list, again, as well as deputy deputy skipper Sheds.

We love Dusty but were disappointed that he, and not Sheds was tossing the coin. I don’t know if we’ve lost a game under Sheds, but there you go.

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In the first half nearly everything goes right. We tackle in the forward 50 like it’s 2017 again and our chances are converted. Mabior Chol, in only his second game and his first since 2016, scores in the first minutes with a quick soccer snap. He goes on to have a good night, taking turns in the ruck and up forward. Lynch has a good night too and Rioli seems to have his kicking boots on again. Adelaide’s big guns, Walker and Jenkins and miss from right in front.

Adelaide come back in the second but Richmond hit back hard late in the quarter and lead by 11 at the big break. At home we’re bubbling with excitement. The Tigers are back and are going to pull off a big upset.
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In the third we somehow let the Crows kick five goals in a row. Taylor and Jenkins figure out that it’s the big sticks they’re meant to kick between and Garthwaite, while trying hard, is no match for them. At the last break Adelaide lead by 13 but we haven’t given up.

In the last we let them kick another five in a row. This is a mistake by the Tigers. If I were Dimma I’d advise against letting your opponents kick more than a couple. Early in the quarter Caddy goals and there’s only a goal in it but after that hope leaches away. We’re clearly under-gunned and too many of Adelaide’s 2017 GF team have had very good games. The Crouch brothers have about a hundred touches between them. Jenkins gets injured, but apparently not too badly, right at the end. I hate to see great players injured but gee, it would have been handy if he’d done it in the first minute of the game and not the last.
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In the end we lose by 35 points which is very disappointing after being so close for so long. The game is saved from being totally forgettable by a ridiculous Eddie Betts goal deep into time-on in the last, with the match already lost. From right on the boundary, a good way out, he snaps and scores. The goal would be memorable anyway, were it not something Betts has done twenty times before, but Sydney Stack, by openly congratulating him straight after, makes it a talking point.

He had said something to Betts earlier – “no special goals tonight, brother” – and in fact Betts had been pretty well held. It was Walker and Jenkins who did most of the damage up forward. But when he pulled this off Stack had to acknowledge his genius. And also admit, publicly, that when you’re six goals down in time on and Betts pulls off a stroke of genius like this, that you can say, “It’s just a game that we play for fun.” Because, if you can’t say that, what’s the point of anything?

Game recognise game.

Sydney Stack shows his appreciation for Eddie’s brilliance! #AFLCrowsTigers pic.twitter.com/nVWOdOdWho
— AFL (@AFL) June 13, 2019

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Houli is our best player. He does the things he has to do and he does them well and he does them all night. Dusty plays well and kicks a couple, as does Rioli. Chol has a very good game and I’d keep him in the team. Vlaustin, Grimes and Stack all played very well. Early in the game Stack steamed through a crowded centre corridor like a very fast, agile, steaming thing. Prestia gets a good bit of the footy but misses goals I wish he’d kicked. The magic seems to have faded a bit for Jack Higgins – footy is starting to look as hard for him as it is for everyone else.

This match seems a long time ago now. I did enjoy not having a game to worry about last weekend. Now to the Saints at Docklands at the traditional time of 1.10pm Sunday. I don’t think I’ll pay to go to this one so might do a radio match report.

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Benny Votes

Houli 5, Martin 4, Prestia 3, Stack 2, Lynch 1

Leaderboard

Houli 30
Martin 23
Edwards 22
Vlastuin 20
Grimes 18
Stack 14
Lynch 13
Prestia 12
Ellis 11
Bolton 6
Cotchin, Nankervis 5
Baker 4
Broad, Lambert 3
Ross, Naish 2
Rioli, Castagna, Balta 1

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All week I have had an absurd feeling of confidence about this game. Expecting a big crowd, I get to the ground an hour before the start and find myself almost alone in M9. My brother, a Geelong supporter, is in the stands somewhere and we agree to catch up at half-time.

I like the look of our team. Naish is making his debut, Graham, Townsend and Rioli feel like big-gun premiership-winning inclusions, because they are. Ablett is playing for the Cats but shouldn’t be. Three strikes to the head for a one-week suspension looks weak to everyone who’s not a Cats supporter and many who are. And his last strike was to the face Anthony Miles, still dear to our Tiger hearts. But it doesn’t matter because whoever we play on Ablett will tag him out of the game.

The corporate music seems louder than ever. The pre-match build-up which once tingled the spine and curdled the blood is now just like being at a bad night club. I wonder, if Richmond go through another slump, will they keep any of their supporters? If we can’t chant and sing and be heard and if our team doesn’t win why would we go and watch them?

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Mercifully, the game begins and Richmond are ferocious and Geelong totally fail to destroy us in the opening minutes. I think back fondly to the qualifying final in 2017. My relief then that we were still in it after two minutes. Richmond thwart an early Geelong attack, Baker wins a holding-the-ball free and passes to Lynch who marks kicks out on the full. Never mind, he’ll get the next one.
Mac passes beautifully to Martin who marks in the pocket and goals. From the centre bounce the ball is kicked to Lynch who misses again from 47 out. Not long after this Naish gathers in the pocket, scoots along and kicks his first goal in the big league on a bit of an angle and his mates swarm to pat him on the head. Surely he is in for a big night and the Tigers are looking good. Full of running and keeping the ball in their forward 50 where it belongs.

Caddy snaps and misses and at quarter time it’s 2.1.13 to 0.2.2.

The idea of keeping the Cats goal-less for the whole game is a very pleasing one. Still, for all our domination we’re not exactly miles in front and some easy chances were missed. But when Geelong have attacked, we’ve defended well and Soldo has been good in the ruck and around the ground.
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The second quarter starts badly when Ratugolea marks and goals from 45 out on a tough angle. Geelong are kicking to the Punt Road End now so this is right in front of me. But Richmond continue to defend frantically and what seems like another certain goal to Geelong becomes a rushed point. Then Gary Rohan – shouldn’t he still be at Sydney? I liked him there – marks 25 out and goals and we’re behind, 2.1 to 2.4.

Things get worse when Naish grabs the footy and charges out of the back-line, but not quickly enough. He’s run down, the Geelong crowd go nuts and they score from the free. Of course they do. The Cats are getting the footy easily and attacking at will. Our players are losing confidence and when they win the footy soon turn it over. Another Geelong attack leads to another snapped goal and it’s 2.1 to 4.4. We’re paying for our missed chances in the first.
I write in my notebook – which has become a shield against this unfolding horror show – “We need to stop this NOW.” As if by writing it down it will come to pass. Ratugolea has become a monster in the ruck and takes a huge mark on the wing. Where did Geelong get all these good players from?
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The Cats attack again, Hawkins can’t mark but Miers snaps and goals and Geelong are kicking everything that comes their way and are suddenly up by 21 points, the point at which a few more goals could end the contest. Higgins wins a free for a Geelong kick that went out on the full. His kick looks like a point and nobody even pretends it’s a goal. Still, a score review results and gives us false faint hope. Of course, it is only a point and now Stack appears to be hurt.

Dusty has a shot and misses. We’ve had the last two scores and are down by three goals. If we’d gotten one of them and gotten one or two more in the first…bad kicking is bad football. Stack appears to be better, but he turns over the footy and Hawkins marks 40 meters out, goes back and goals. Geelong’s set shot kicking is deadly. They’ve kicked six goals since quarter time and now lead by four. We really need the next goal but One-Week Gary and Danger combine and it’s half-time and we’re five goals down and I don’t want to catch up with my brother at the break.

I think about making excuses – stuck in the toilet queue? Under arrest for yelling at a Geelong supporter? – but I force myself up the stairs and we meet for a chat. He and his wife are very happy for some reason. God, I hate Geelong supporters, even the ones I love.

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I get back to M9 as the match re-starts. I’ve forsaken my prized spot against the steel barrier and I don’t care. Geelong supporters in front of me are being obnoxious with their stupid hooped jumpers and plastic bottles of coke which, I suspect, are spiked with something stronger.

One-Week Gary and Hawkins combine for an early goal to the Cats. Ratugolea takes a sliding mark and goals and it’s 2.5 to 9.4.
Another goal to them and they’ve kicked ten un-answered and we’re 47 points down and there’s no hope, a respectable loss is the best we can hope for and the third term has barely begun.

My notebook is saving me from stark, raving insanity. Why is life so unfair? Couldn’t we just kick the odd goal? We’re 57 points down and it’s men against boys, our defence is in tatters, our forward line hardly exists and we’re being killed in the middle. Apart from that we’re doing okay. Graham wins a hard ball and passes to Lynch who marks on a tough angle and goals. Our first since the first quarter. The Electronic Roar is more embarrassing than ever. Surely even the most ardent marketing enthusiast would consider it wise to turn it off when we’re getting thrashed? But wisdom and marketing go together not.

We attack a bit more while Geelong take a bit of a break. Lynch gets a free but misses. Geelong win a free after a blatant bit of head-ducking, go forward slickly and score. It’s 56 points and the game is of academic interest only. Another goal and it’s 62 points and Geelong are scoring at will. One-Week Gary kicks another and it’s 24 to 92 and I’m struggling to do the arithmetic.

The Geelong supporter in front of me yells out “You can fuck my girl-friend Gary!“ Geelong kick another after the siren and it’s 3.6.24 to 15.8.98 which is 74 points. I let the supporter know that he sickens me, in a way that doesn’t lead to a fist-fight, which is a little victory of sorts. But I’d prefer that we were winning.
I’m sickened by the scale of the loss and by the Revolting Cat in front of me. But as Tigers our hands and vocal cords are hardly clean. How many times have we sung – or let others sing in praise of Dusty – “I’ll let you shag my wife”?

How long has it been since we were 74 points down at the last break? The Revolting Cat says to me “I’m sorry, I did get permission from my girlfriend to say yell that out… inappropriate I guess.” I almost bring myself to nod. I gather that my notebook might be making people nervous and in the face of this devastation there’s some solace in being witness to it. I’ve got something to do, to document the pain as well as feel it.

More revolting music at the break, an embarrassment to our great club.

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I just want the last quarter to go quickly. Couldn’t there be a mercy rule if you’re this far behind? Lynch marks early on but can’t even get a point. Rioli gets it to Dusty who gets it to George but nothing comes of it. Butler snaps and misses. Houli is still playing well and has been our best player all night, not for the first time.

We string together some excellent junk-time play and Butler goals. The Electronic Roar is only getting more embarrassing. Hawkins quickly goals to restore the 12-goal lead. Dangerfield takes a very strong, contested mark on the half-forward line. The fact is, he’s quite a handy player. Naish thwarts a Geelong attack with a mark on the back-line and passes to a team-mate with a torp. How often do we get to see that? The ball gets to Dusty but he loses it. He and our other stars, Cotch, Edwards and others, has not had a good night and has turned the ball over a lot.

The crowd is 65,214, which might be considered all right but for a club with 100,000 members, playing at home on a fine night against the top team, is a bit shite. But as I keep saying, why would you come if you thought we were going to lose? The RFC simply has to give their supporters some voice.

Castagna marks and goals and it’s 67 points and then the siren goes at the 25th minute of a mercifully short quarter. After quarter time Geelong have kicked 16 goals to three. That’s not very good by us.

On the way out I see Geoff Hogg who was the Coming Home Tiger in the pre-match. But I don’t have the heart to say hello and thanks for the memories. Too many of the Hogg-era memories were like tonight.
Geelong were very good, very efficient and made us play very badly. It’s a real worry how much we keep getting thrashed by. I’m nostalgic for those heart-breaking one-point losses we once specialised in.

Houli was our best player. I thought Grimes and Vlaustin were all right but it was hard to pick any others. Naish had a good first game and I hope his second is a boilover win in Adelaide tomorrow night.

As for the booing of One-Week Gary, I’m not into booing at all,
really. It’s always struck me as the lowest form of crowd participation and if everyone who booed actually sang and chanted and roared instead our game would have more atmosphere. But it seems to me that the boo-ers – didn’t we fight two wars against them? – are the least likely to sing or chant or do anything positive.

That said, as Chris Scott pointed out, the booing of Ablett is not remotely like the booing of Adam Goodes. Not remotely. The booing of Goodes was a disgrace.

Now on to Adelaide and happier things.

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Benny Votes

Houli 5, Grimes 4, Vlastuin 3, Naish 2, Prestia 1

Leaderboard

Houli 25
Edwards 22
Vlastuin 20
Martin 19
Grimes 18
Lynch, Stack 12
Ellis 11
Prestia 9
Bolton 6
Cotchin, Nankervis 5
Baker 4
Broad, Lambert 3
Ross, Naish 2
Rioli, Castagna, Balta 1

I had quite a good feeling about this game which was justified given our good form and their bad run.  Then again, they had just replaced their coach, it was at Docklands and it was North who for years and years – until Boomer retired and we suddenly became Premiers in 2017 – were impossible for us to beat.  Especially when it mattered.

This will divert me from Friday’s game, but so be it.  We were never big fans of whichever Scott it was who coached them.  Nor the other one, who took over at Geelong.  This goes back to round 23, 2015, when we were playing North at Docklands and North, for strategic reasons, decided to rest half their team.  Now the last time I had tried to take the kids to see us play North at Docklands we’d been locked out – that is, they said the ground was full and there were no more general admission tickets to be had.  This was after standing in a queue or about an hour.  Later, we found that out that there were, in fact, several thousand empty seats, but none for the likes of us.

So this time, for round 23 2015, with crucial spots in the 8 at stake, we booked ahead a paid a bomb for very good seats.  Then Scott rested half his team, made it plain that he was quite happy to lose and the ground was only half-full as a result. In our top-dollar seats we sat alone, nobody anywhere near us.  We got to see Majak Daw explode through the middle of the ground and kick a goal.  But after half-time the Tigers got on top of the Roos Reserves team and won by a few goals.

This was exactly what North wanted.  It meant they played us in the Elimination Final the next week and we were their long-term bunnies.  They beat us in what was the saddest of our Elimination Finals and afterwards, having let go of all hope of Richmond ever winning a flag or even making the finals again I thought “I will die happy, not if we beat North but if just one of our players, just once, manages to lay a tackle on Boomer Harvery.”  Then the bastard retired before my wish could come true.

But then we won a flag which made most of my self-pitying reflections irrelevant.

Anyway, I didn’t go to this game, mainly because it was an away game and I’d have to pay to get in and also because it was at Docklands which I despise.  And lastly because I went to the vigil in Royal Park for Courtney Herron who’d been murdered there a few days previously.  A thousand or so of us stood in the rain and the cold and the silence, with just our own thoughts in our heads.  It was moving and powerful and made the footy seem like the happy distraction that it is.

I rode home in the rain and cold and was soon in dry clothes in a warm house with a hot meal on my lap.  And Richmond started the game well.  Cotchin’s first kick in seven weeks was a beauty – long and straight and marked by George about 55 out.  No goal resulted but it was a promising start.  A bit later Lynch got a lucky free – really, umpires are paying for ‘’a push” in marking contests whenever anyone falls over – and he went back and goaled.  He was now 19.8 from set shots and I’m so glad we picked him up.

Quarter time score: North 4.1.25 to Richmond 3.2.20
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North were playing really well but we were matching them.  Martin had three goals to half time and it looked like being one of those highly entertaining games when a team really has a crack at beating Richmond only to be over-run in the second half.  It sort of worked out that way except in reverse.  By half-time Richmond’s accuracy had kept the game even.  In the third term North run all over us, despite being a player down.

Half-time score: North 6.7.43 to Richmond 6.3.39

Someone for North – probably Brown but it could have been someone else – takes a mark in the forward line and scores from not a long way out.  After the mark Grimes is gesturing to someone – anyone I suppose – how come North had so many players free?  How come indeed?  Our defenders, normally so tight and reliable, seem to be not where they are needed.

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North are up by 33 points right at the end of the third quarter when Caddy marks a wonderful pass from Martin.  The siren goes and Caddy kicks out on the full.  There is no hope, bar Richmond making their best comeback in about 95 years.

Three-quarter time score: North 12.7.79 to Richmond 7.4.46

I can’t watch much of the last term.  There is no need to.  North are everywhere and are up by 50 points at one stage.  I see Ben Brown take a mark in the 50 with nobody near him.  He is having a night out.  We get a late goal or two and the final margin probably flatters us.
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Full time score: North 15.9.99 to Richmond 9.8.62

For all our injuries we are having a great season.  Yet every game we’ve lost since we won the flag has been a bit of a thumping.  As if a team just has to learn how to pick the Richmond lock and then they can steal the lot.  And it was also sad to see our Captain return for a loss like this.

Less than ideal preparation for taking on the Cats.  Does the other Scott still coach them?  I don’t like him either, for no particular reason.  And I loathe Geelong, as most normal people do.  All those games in the 80s and 90s when they used us for training drills…

From what I saw of this match I thought Houli was good.  I might be a bit biased.  And Dusty was good, un-stoppable in the first half but a mere mortal in the second. Prestia and Cotch were also good.  [I’ll throw in Stack as well, with Baker and Castagna also standing up –  Chris]. North were clearly a handy team who only needed a new coach to reveal themselves.  If they become, for us, one of those never-beat-them-when-it-really-matters teams, again, I’ll be very sad.
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Benny Votes

Houli 5, Martin 4, Prestia 3, Cotchin 2, Stack 1

Leaderboard

Edwards 22
Houli 20
Martin 19
Vlastuin 16
Grimes 14
Lynch, Stack 12
Ellis 11
Prestia 8
Bolton 6
Cotchin, Nankervis 5
Baker 4
Broad, Lambert 3
Ross 2
Rioli, Castagna, Balta 1

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Dreamtime at the ‘G
For the first time in living memory it is raining when we leave the house. We make a great decision and switch from the tram to the train at Northcote. There is a brief break from the rain and when we make the switch we don’t get too wet. At the station there is a good crowd of footy folk although the start of the game is well over an hour off. We hope we’ll be in time to get in with our general admission memberships.

At Jolimont it’s raining again and we’re very glad we’re not stomping all the way across the gardens, as we would have been had we stayed on the tram. It doesn’t take too long to get in to the ground and we find a good spot in M9. Not perfect- that would be against the fence, giving us something to lean on – but one row back from there.

It’s less than an hour before the first bounce and we’re very glad to be out of the wet. We eat hot chips which are not too bad at all and then we’re told that the pre-match ceremony will be cancelled on account of the rain.

Then the Long Walkers begin filing into the ground and around the boundary. They look like ghosts in their shimmering ponchos. Michael Long leads the way with a tall man next to him who frequently drapes his arm across Longy’s shoulders. It turns out to be Gillon McLachlan. Longy and the other walkers get a good reception and soon enough the game is about to start and there is in fact a bit of a ceremony which is very good, with dancers representing each team facing each other, in front of the players, as they all line up in the pouring rain. Sydney Stack joins in the Richmond dance.

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After this very moving celebration of Indigenous culture the AFL or the RFC does what it does so well and shits all over it. We will rock you, by Queen, booms over the PA. Other loud, stomping music takes us from the end of the dance to the first bounce, lest we absorb too much of this moving ceremony and give voice to our own take on it. I don’t know why this corporate atrocity still gets me down – shouldn’t I be used to it by now?

It has rained all through the preliminaries and it’s teeming down still as the game starts. With everyone’s hair plastered down it’s hard to tell Grimes from Broad or Caddy and Garthwaite. Nor does it help that all play very well. In the wet Richmond’s ferocity and skill is something to behold.

Essendon’s sole highlight is when McDonald-Tipungwuti runs down Dusty in a terrific tackle. Dusty’s reaction is telling – he gets up and gets on with it. Despite what some commentators say, he does get caught with the ball quite often, but it doesn’t seem to bother him or his team. He takes the game on and more often than not he gets away with it. That’s what matters.

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Goals are very hard to score and the quarter produces just one, by Higgins. I’m feeling that the smallness and the skill of our forwards could be telling in these conditions. Houli and Edwards have been very good.

It’s been very good to keep Essendon goal-less for a quarter, but it would have been better if we’d kicked more than one.

Quarter time score 1.2.8 to 0.3.3

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In the second quarter Stringer snaps and misses and we’re pleased. It’s the first of four points and nothing else for the Bombers for the quarter and I feel like we’re getting on top. Liam Baker finds the footy, gathers, makes room for himself and snaps from 45 for a goal. Any one of these steps is hard on a night like this, but his movements are as fluid as the rain.

Prestia out-does him a bit later with a snap from the 50, then he and Rioli miss gettable ones. Liam Baker takes a superb overhead mark as the Tigers move out of defence. The ball simply sticks in his hands as he falls backwards. This on a night when easy chest-marks are dropped by champions. Where did we get these young players from?

Half-time score 4.7.31 to 1.7.13

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Vlaustin, who is having yet another good game, gets a very lucky 50 but misses from 45 out. Balta grabs the ball and bombs it from 55 but misses. We don’t care too much, we love how he has a crack at it.

Under siege in the Tiger forward line, Saad is pinged for deliberate-out-of-bounds – the umps have been strict on this tonight – and Castagna kicks a very tricky shot from the pocket.

Houli is involved twice in a brilliant Richmond counter-attack that leads to a Lynch mark and goal. He is now 18.8 from set shots for the year and we love how he goes about things.

Luck is going our way. Saad sprints out of defence and is about to set up a Bomber’s attack when Bolton runs him down. Saad actually gets a fist to the ball but this after he’s bounced it, Baldock or Bartlett-style, just as he’s tackled. The ump is having none of it and whistles for a free. But with all the noise and confusion the Bombers have played on and cop a 50. A bit harsh, but that’s footy. At least when it goes our way, it’s just footy.

Richmond are up by 37 points and the Bombers have kicked one goal and it’s almost three-quarter time and things get even better. Edwards passes perfectly to Castagna who marks in the pocket and will kick from 45. The loudest and most expert barracker in M9 shouts for him to play on. “He’s a hopeless set shot, he should have played on!” More gracious supporters are calling out encouragement to George.

Someone calls out “The sea was very angry that day my friends…” This is a Seinfeld reference from the episode where George had to pretend to be a marine biologist and ended up rescuing a whale. Re-telling the story later in the coffee shop George says, “The sea was very angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to order soup in a deli…”

But I digress. This player who is so hopeless at set shots, apart from the very tricky one he got earlier, goes back and kicks from 45 on a tight angle on a wet night and nails it. Of course he does. “The sea was very angry that day my friends…”

Richmond lead by 43 and Essendon have kicked 1.10 for the game. I have a great desire for us to hold them to one goal for the game. “Even Melbourne Victory scored two goals!” someone yells out.

With six minutes left Caddy passes to the debutant, Callum Coleman-Jones who marks and hits the post from 25 out on 45-degree angle.

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Garthwaite is doing well as our new tall defender and Houli has his 31st touch before the last break. Stack, also having a good game, sends a good kick into the forward 50. “Mark of the year!” our loud friend calls out. Bellchambers rises and marks it for Essendon. “Not you, you dickhead!” the loud man calls out.

Essendon rebound and score their second goal just before the quarter ends, although Bolton was unlucky not to hold what would have been a great grab at full-forward not long after. Richmond still lead by 37 points.

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Three-quarter time score 8.11.59 to 2.10.22

The weather has cleared up quite a lot and Essendon are suddenly very quick and clean and Richmond start to wobble. Langford kicks off the ground and it’s 30 points, but Higgins marks 40 out and scores and it’s back to 36. That should snuff out the Bombers but the bastards keep coming. Grimes saves us again before Bellchambers marks close in and goals and it’s down to 29 points with not much of the quarter gone.

Grimes is pinged, a bit unluckily, for holding-the-ball and Merrett gets the football to Laverde who marks and goals from 40. The Bombers are starting to believe they can win this and their supporters are finding their voices. Until now I had thought there were actually no Bombers supporters in the ground at all. Well, apart from Longy, I saw him come in.

“Brownlow Hair” Heppell gets the footy to Langford who marks with one hand and goals from 25 out. Our lead is under three goals and we’re seriously panicked with only half the quarter gone. Then Essendon miss their first shot for a while and maybe they won’t do every single thing right from now on. Ambrose misses and it’s 15 points.

Edwards kicks beautifully, again, into the 50 and Menadue almost marks, but doesn’t. Guelfi out-marks McIntosh and Bolton is pinged for running over the mark. Guelfi kicks from outside the 50, across the goals and it goes out for a boundary throw-in. Essendon press hard but Richmond defend well and clear the 50. The loose ball is gathered by Zaharakis who is run down magnificently by Ellis who wins a free.

Richmond attack and Rioli snaps to seal the game for us, but misses. Essendon kick out, Macintosh wins the footy, sends in a huge kick and Rioli soars and marks. Only 28 minutes have gone but the siren sounds already and we’ve won. I’m disappointed for Rioli – I really wanted him to seal the match before it was over. Instead he ices the cake with a very straight kick after the siren and we’ve won by 23.

Full-time score Richmond 10.13.73 to Essendon 6.14.50

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A very good win by the Tigers. Essendon did have two players injured – Stringer before half time and Shiel in the last quarter. They also went into the game without Joe Daniher who is done for the season. But our skill and ferocity out-did them when it mattered. And in the last quarter Lynch was on the bench the whole time, as a precaution, Dimma said. The old Tigers would have been over-run in the last, but our boys can take a bit of punishment, sort themselves out and steady the ship.

Houli won the Yiooken award for best on ground and made a lovely speech about how much the game means to him. He is too much the gentleman to say “and thanks to Essendon for letting me go and win a flag and avoid the Drug Scandal.” I suppose some things don’t need to be said. The players all lined up to make a Stand Against Racism, because some things do need to be said.

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Houli certainly deserved to win the Yiooken, but I find it very hard to pick outstanding Tigers. They all try so hard and do their jobs so well. Grimes was great again, and Astbury. We just get used to how reliable they are. Ellis had another good game. And the small, new players – Bolton, Stack, Baker – they’re amazing. Sheds led again and I will be genuinely sad when he’s not our captain tomorrow night against the Roos.

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Benny Votes by Chris

Houli 5, Martin 4, Edwards 3, Baker 2, Prestia 1

Leaderboard

Edwards 22
Vlastuin 16
Houli, Martin 15
Grimes 14
Lynch 12
Stack, Ellis 11
Bolton 6
Prestia, Nankervis 5
Baker 4
Cotchin, Broad, Lambert 3
Ross 2
Rioli, Castagna, Balta 1